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Episode 27: Wagonpool to Satan

Hey, hey, we're kicking off season two -- and The Great Hunt -- with a ten-minute intro about our homelessness and other misfortunes. Then we talk about Acne and Assholery, Drunk Uncles and Fish Metaphors, and new game show Are You Taller Than a Cello?

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Episode 28: Janet McBible

Please excuse the background hum of AC in this week's episode -- it's 95 degrees in Utah! And a balmy 70 in Fal Dara when the Amyrlin Seat arrives. We talk about Tigger: Rap God, Alien v. Sexual Predator, a Flannel of Lesbians, and get this: we finally consult the pronunciation guide. 

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Episode 29: Jerkins DON’T Have Sleeves!

We're joined by professional costumer and Yu-Gi-Oh! enthusiast Sarah McClintock to talk about clothes, fantasy, and denim on denim. She helps answer questions like: Why is Robert Jordan obsessed with butts and breeches? Why is the boob situation in Tel'aran'rhiod so important? What happens when you dress a farm boy like a fancy lord and give him responsibility?

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Episode 30: Bodcast: Ninety Push-ups

In which Rand would totally be a Soul Cycle cult leader, Elaida is Donald Trump, Moiraine's ego is an unstoppable force, Robert Jordan uses RateMyAesSedai dot com, and we humbly suggest that you Do Not Do A War Crime. 

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Episode 31: My Goblin Jesus

This episode, in which we primarily discuss dark prophecies, question Padan Fain's reasoning, and collectively gag over The Great Hunt's weird penchant for graphic violence, we introduce two new characters to our Updated, Revised, and All-Around Better Version of WoT: Larry the Good Trolloc and Ilyeno. 

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Episode 32: Cool It Down, Couladin

This week we're talking about a very important chapter: the one where the Chosen One finds out he's been Chosen. For once, we feel very bad for Rand. We discuss the narrative, symbolic, mythic, psychological, cosmic significance of this moment. And, of course, we argue that it would be even better if Perrin dabbled in pagan witchcraft.

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Episode 33: Smell Like Bullets

It's a tired and giggly episode of EHR! We're talking about how Lan gives terrible advice, how Hurin should be spending time on his post-grad, and how Uno deserves true love, probably with someone brave and manly. And hilarious. And -- okay, it's Gaul. We've already planned the wedding.

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Episode 34: Vanilla in the Streets

All you really need to know headed into this episode is that we really, really, REALLY don't like the term "deflowered."

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Episode 35: Protect Your Mind Vault

Hey, this week we're going to alternate dimensions and talking to wolves! We're also spending a great deal of time questioning whether Rand is really Leader Material or Just Tall. (Hint: We think he's just tall and has fancy clothes. He's running a long con.) Thanks for waiting!

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Episode 36: Trope Maze

This episode we're talking about the dreaded literary embodiment of hentai herself, Lanfear. We explain in detail why we hate her, but we also have some non-hentai conversations about Magic Trees, the Talent Cycle, and that TV adaptation that's in the works. 

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Episode 37: Moon Blood

There's a lot of chaotic sexual energy in this episode, and for that at least one of us apologizes. We talk about the Sex Shirt, Daenerys and her Animal Sidekick, and that one unfortunate instance where Gawyn Was Right.

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Episode 38: An Entire Ham

The chapters we read this week were full of Lord of the Rings references, so you KNOW we had a long talk about Magic Artifacts of Doom and Aragorn's sex appeal. We also discussed Drunk Scrabble, Walk-Up Music, and Mat's Polyamorous War Cabinet. 

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Episode 39: Double-Sided Sword

Sorry for the long episode, but we just couldn't help talking about the sex and power dynamics of the Warder bond for 25 minutes. We also complained about the Heterosexual Lack of Chemistry Default and took a long look at all the fear archetypes in Nynaeve's Magic Hazing Ritual.   

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Episode 40: Very Tight Trope Breeches

This episode was over an hour long until Emily edited out twenty minutes of us arguing over which characters Galad could have sexual tension with. That's pretty much all you need to know.  

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Episode 41: xoxo Gossip Girl

This episode sparked a lot of ideas for the Wheel of Time TV adaptation, including casting Thom Merrilin as Taika Watiti, Rhuarc looking into the camera like he's in the Office, and a really great flashback to that time no one would speak to Mat except his mother. Take note, Amazon.

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Episode 42: Urien on Sand

Hey, we got mics! We get a little sappy thanking you for your support, but we're just so excited! Please forgive all audio issues -- Emily is relearning how to record and edit with this fancy new technology. Tune in for Whitecloak Resumes, the Gay Energy in the Atmosphere, and the Nightgown Pervert.

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Episode 43: Deus Ex Ingtar

In which we struggle to pronounce Barthanes' name, long for the Betsy Ross/Ross Betsy timeline that never was, and make way too many comparisons to Supernatural. 

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Episode 44: BAR-thanes

Discussion topics this week include My Mind Fire: The Band, Fantasy Hair Cuts, Knife Boy and Lava Girl, The REAL Kingkiller, and Chumbawamba-phobia.

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Episode 45: Multi-Universe Hairdryer

Hey, guys, we read like a million chapters this week. Seriously, so many. Aren't you proud of us? We talked about a Jimmy Buffett Monastery, hit TV show Shienar's Got Talent, and a Glitch in the Portal Stone. 

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This is it. Our horniest episode. We make some important decisions and inappropriate rankings. Also: Alternate titles for The Great Hunt, Universal Truths, Les-beans, and How to Lose a Guy in the Ways.

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Episode 47: A Very Merry Supernatural Christmas

Happy holidays, from our family to yours! Here's an extra-special, extra-long episode where we take a break from WoT with guest Brie Olds. Instead of Wheel of Time, there's Eric Kripke's Steady Hand, Castiel on Trial, Good Brothers and Bad Brothers, and the Real Evil: Sam's Bangs.

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Episode 48: Everybody Hates Dillon

We're coming at you DEAD from our couch! Join us in our post-holidays depression as we mispronounce damane and also "palanquin," talk about soft power vs. hard power, and discuss the timing of trauma in fantasy. 

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Episode 49: Socks with Sandals

Welcome to the first episode of 2019! It's pretty much a disaster. We talk about Casting Valan Luca, Frat Boy Criteria, The Power and Non-Power of Words, and the Problem with Adrenaline-Based Magic. Also: there's a lot of singing. 


Episode 50: The Grave is No Bar to My Yeet

Episode 50, what the heck?! We've been doing this a whole YEAR? We celebrate by talking about Meta Prophecy, Egwene's Evil Twin, Knife Boy, and Emily's Personal Journey through Wheel of Time. Remember, kids: Rand is NOT Judge Judy.


Episode 51: The Kazoo of Valere

The Great Hunt is finally over! In our season finale we talk about Rand's Poor Time Management, Tall Soldiers (Our Weakness), Stabbing Erogenous Zones, Mat's Alter Ego: Johnny Appleseed, and Lanfear's Top Three Iconic Entrances. 

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EHR Extra: The Height Over Horniness Chart

We might be between seasons, but we're still horny for Gaul! This week we're looking at our brand-new Wheel of Time Companion (thanks, Mitchell!) to discuss Big Wolf Energy, Lini's Terrible Advice, The Three Rivers, and Literally Everyone's Height.

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